Posted by: malditangala | March 23, 2009

kwentong spa

sabi nila number one sign of aging daw ang pananakit ng likod at balakang. nitong mga nagdaang araw andami kong gawa kaya sobrang sakit ng aking katawan. kulang nga ang isang buong araw para makapagpahinga. sa mga ganitong pagkakataon ansarap sanang magrelax at magpamasahe. ayan, namiss ko tuloy bigla ung spahan ni sir lau sa may pateros ba un…di ko sure ung exact address nya pero dun un sa may malapit sa c5, natures spa ung name nya. idagdag mo pa ung mga nagmamasahe sa puerto galera…hay, kelan kaya ulet ako makakabisita sa spa nila sir lau….

September 8, 2008 → The Top Ten Spa/Salon/Barber Moments – Twisted Saint & Hindu Tan taken from chico garcia’s blog.

  1. Jose de vengenge – I have a very perverted friend. Once, he got a blind masseuse, and all the time during the massage, he kept moving and angling his body so th masseuse would accidentally touch his *toot*.
  2. McMaki – When I was about 7 years old, instead of going to a barber shop my sister brought to a salon. When it was my turn, the gay beautician said, “Magiging bakla itong batang ito.” I started crying!
  3. Jonathanweb2.0/Strangelybeauty – One time I was getting a foot spa, and when the masseuse touched a certain part of my foot which was very ticklish, I jerked and accidentally kicked her hard in the face!
  4. Lea – My friend and I went to a bulag masahista. When they were about to start. I told the masahista, “Manang, ang liwanag naman dito, nakakasilaw.” Then she said, “Pasensya na po, di kasi namin nakikita kung maliwanag o madilim.” Oops.
  5. Jose de vengenge – A friend’s story: As the masseuse was massaging his legs, he blurted out, “Miss, pag tinaas mo pa ng konti, mababangga mo na itlog ko.”
  6. No name – When my masahista comes to the house, I put on an action movie DVD. I get an extra 20-30 minutes because she wants to finish the movie.
  7. Mrs. Phelps – The first time I got a massage, the masseuse started massaging my boobs! I asked if that was necessary, and she said it was.  I just covered my face because I couldn’t take it.
  8. Royski – A foreigner friend was having a haircut and he asked the barber how long until they finished. The barber wanted to say that the shaving was the last part, but instead, he said, as he held the razor under the foreigner’s chin, “This…is your end.”
  9. Mulangot – First massage I ever got, the masseeuse asked if I was tense because I was clenching my butt.  I didn’t have the guts to tell her I was clenching  because I was holding my fart!
  10. Jose de vengenge – When the masseuse asked my friend to turn over, he hesitated. When the masseuse asked if anything was wrong, my friend answered in a meek voice, “Hintayin natin…lumambot…”
  11. angpaghihimagsiknijoeshred – I went to this parlor. And the gay beautician modus operandi was to drop the comb on your lap, and when he picks it up, he will touch your thingy.
  12. Kabodskie – The name of a barbershop in UPLB in the 70,s: “Karl Marx”, owned by barbers named Carlo and Marco.
  13. Cho Chang – I was at a salon and my stylist was rushing because it was lunch time.  She was snipping so fast that she accidentally snipped off part of my ear! I had to get injections on the same spot.
  14. Curt Smith – At a certain salon in the 80’s, I was resting my hand on the armrest, when the lady cuting my hair suddenly leaned forward, touching her crotch area to my hand!
  15. Kytes – I know of a case of a policeman who complained that he didn’t like his haircut and one thing lead to another and the policeman ended up dead because the barber stabbed him to death with his scissors.
  16. Chester – I’m a male spa therapist for so many years abroad. I had so many female clients before and I think professìonalism is the key in this work. One time, I was about to perform a full leg waxing with a caucasian woman, so I started by slowly raising her skirt, and after I lifted her skirt, she said in a very calm voice, “I’m here to have my eyebrows done.”
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